Intuitive Illuminations Newsletter August 28,2013

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THRIVE-

If we really want to create a life that is based on our own well-being, we must become committed to standing in our personal power in order to thrive instead of just survive.

What is personal power? It is the birthplace of all our decisions and actions. It also relates to our sense of self, our control over others and our situations.

So many times we find ourselves engaged in situations that do not serve our highest and best good. However, we don’t want to offend anyone or upset them by voicing our true feelings so we just smile and nod our heads in agreement. Little did we know that these seemingly innocent gestures have actually set big things into motion. One, we have just given our power away and two, we have just made an unspoken agreement with the other person based on our actions.

Let’s say you run into an old acquaintance at a party. First you make small talk with them briefly then excuse yourself and begin to walk away. Just then they say to you, “We should really do dinner,” and you reply, “Yes,that would be great!” As you walk away you say to yourself, “What the heck was I thinking? I don’t ever want to go anywhere with them, much less out to dinner.” Whether or not you have realized it, you have just entered into an unspoken agreement.

This is just one example of how we give away our power unwittingly. As the hole we have dug for ourselves becomes even deeper, we may find that in a week or so this old acquaintance is contacting us to set up that dinner date. Now we find ourselves grasping for excuses as to why we can’t possibly go to dinner with them. All this wasted time and energy could have been easily avoided if we would have just been honest in the first place. This can be tough to do, especially when we are a people pleaser. Now I’m not suggesting that we should be rude or nasty in declining their offer what I am saying is that a simple ‘no thank you’ would suffice.

Another part of honoring our personal power is in not allowing ourselves to automatically say yes whenever we are asked to give of our time, money, or skills. Those of us with big hearts have that perpetual yes on a continual loop, then later we wonder why we said yes, when all we really wanted to do was say no. All this yessing will not only buy us a one-way ticket on the crazy train, it will also cause our inner child to have internal hissy fits as well.

By the way, some of these people that are always asking for our assistance are professionals at it. They know if they ask us for something we always say yes, and that is exactly what they are counting on. They know just what to say and what buttons to push in order to get whatever it is that THEY want. The solution to all this yessing is to take back our power.

So the next time Aunt Jean calls us and asks us to come to dinner with several family members we just can’t stand to be around. We should pause, take a deep breath and tell her ‘no thank you’. Or we can say ‘I will have to check my calendar and I’ll get back to you’. In regard to the latter response this will put some time and much needed space between us and our answer. This way we can sit with it and get a better feel for what and how we are feeling about this. It’s important for us to always follow our gut instincts, as our instincts don’t lie. By taking back our personal power we set ourselves up to thrive and in doing so we become much more alive.

In Light & Love,

Shirley

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