Intuitive Illuminations May 28th, 2013 Newsletter



Are They Sitting On A Nail?

Are you feeling a pull to change? Just because we feel the need for change, doesn’t always mean that others are ready to change along with us. Yes, we all change in many different ways some subtle and some not so subtle.

I am reminded of the timeless advice one of my mentors shared with me many years ago. He said, “When you are walking down the street with you brother and he falls, you reach down help him up, dust him off, and continue walking on your journey. As you walk farther if he falls a second time you reach down help him up, dust him off, and continue walking on the journey. However, if he falls a third time, you must leave him lie; as he does not want to walk.”

Isn’t it interesting how we can quickly fall into the trap of thinking we know what is best for another. We insist that we know what is best for them at any given time. How dare we be so arrogant to proclaim that our way of seeing or doing things is smarter, faster, wiser or better than anyone else’s.

The key here is to remember that it’s their journey not ours. And, as hard as it is sometimes to resist offering our unsolicited thoughts, we must butt-out and let the other person sort things out in their own time. Even though they might not see that freight train coming, how do we know that their blindness isn’t a huge part of their discovery process. Perhaps we have never even stopped to consider that we might be getting in the way of the process.

I’m not saying when someone asks for our thoughts on something that we shouldn’t share with them. What I am saying is that we just can’t get all attached to the way you think things should be for them. There are many factors at work here both known and unknown. However, if someone keeps asking you for the same advice over and over again, pretty soon it becomes clear that they are perfectly happy “fondling their story,” as Martha Beck says.

A great reply for these repetitive questions would be: “We have had this conversation several times now and clearly you have not been listening to what I have been saying to you. I do not have the time nor the patience. I just can’t go there with you anymore as it doesn’t serve either one of us.”

In closing, I’d like to share a great story with you about a traveling preacher who would travel out into the country to visit his parishioners in the rural communities. On his travels each week he visited this one particular farmer who had an old hound dog. Each time the preacher visited this farmer, the old dog was laying in the same spot on the porch crying and whining. This went on for weeks. Until finally one day the preacher said to the farmer, “Every time I come here that dog of yours is laying in the same spot crying, why is he doing that?”  The farmer replied, “He’s laying on a nail.” The preacher then asked, “Why doesn’t he just get up?” To which the farmer replied, “It doesn’t hurt bad enough yet.”

The moral of the story is, when something hurts bad enough they will get up and do something about it, until then we must let them lie.

Bountiful Blessings,

Shirley Swift-Wilkinson






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